Ronald McDonald - 変更履歴

2022年9月10日 (土) 11:33に地蔵川による

2022-09-10T11:33:02Z

PG: /* McDonald's Business Life */ 赤リンク画像ファイルの除去

2022-08-26T03:59:33Z

‎McDonald's Business Life: 赤リンク画像ファイルの除去

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‎The Rise and Fall of Ronald McDonald: 赤リンク画像ファイルの除去

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2022-08-26T03:55:10Z

‎The McDonald's success story: 画像ファイル(赤リンク)の除去

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2022-08-26T03:54:03Z

‎Ronald's Early Life: 赤リンクファイルの除去

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2022-08-26T03:52:27Z

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2020-01-14T11:51:02Z

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2020-01-07T19:11:29Z

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 ==McDonald today==
 McDonald's 1995 albums: [[McDonald's|Yo Kids Need to Eat Yo Food to Grow Up Phat Like Me]] and [[STFU|Shut Yo' Fuckin' Face, Bitch!]] , which were finally released to non-[[fat|McDonaldians]] in [[September]] [[2005]] was an immediate flop, shifting just 8 copies in a two week period and spelling financial disaster for McDonald. This had been just the icing on the deep fried cake that is McDonald's downfall. With no extension to his current record deal, McDonald had taken to releasing Greatest Hits album after Greatest Hits album before leaving Sony to join independent label, "Shit Music" and recently released his new solo project "Ron - By Request Only" - a modern take on the easy listening classics of yesteryear.
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 ==Baseball==
 Ronald was better known for his achievement with the Los Angeles Bakers from 1997-2005. He signed a contract with them offering [[Big Mac]]'s and blowjobs to the whole team. During his first baseball season Ronald hit two kids in the stands and hit 25 homeless. His first year was not the best in the league, in 2003 he was accused of using steroids with former teamates [[Barry Bonds]] and [[Hulk Hogan]] in the showers while having sex. Ronald states the claims against him were simply accusations used to end his career. After a year in court, Ronald was let go because the jury and judge were promised Arch Cards from [[McDonald's]]. While he recovered, he decided to continue his career in the [[MLB]]. In 2004 Ronald along with teamate [[Coco Crisp]] were 0 for 100, setting a new franchise record for the best RBI. At that pace, his popularity was growing. Not only were rappers like [[Fat Joe]] munching on his food, but his sales were surpassing longtime rival [[Burger King]]. In 2005 Ronald ended his season with a broken leg when they were playing the Kentucky Fried Roosters. Ronald was pitching in the 7th inning when a fastball he threw bounced, off the umpire's mask, back to Ronald and struck him. He ended his career with a record of most touchdowns per minute and attracted the most kids in franchise history since [[Michael Jackson]] 1993-1998.
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 ==Supposed Death==
 Earlier this year a a documentary was being filmed on the "then and now" of Ronald McDonald for [[CBS]]. Secretly, [[The Burger King]] and Ronald McDonald's cousin, [[Chuck E. Cheese]], had been plotting to assassinate him. At the time he was in his rap career and was known as MC Donald. The Burger King was jealous of this so he wanted to 'tupac' MC Donald. While at a stop light the Burger King drove by in his Lincoln Navigator. He took two 9mms and splattered Ronald McDonald's head all over the window and then quickly drove off. Ronald lost much brain tissue - almost all of what he still had - but made a speedy recovery with his GodBurger, which can heal the sick when purchased in the McBible happy meal. A few days after Ronald's recovery, the King disappeared mysteriously while walking near a meat processing plant.
 ==The Future==
-[[Image:Images3.jpg|450px|thumb|right|The reason why Ronald McDonald is frowning here is because Wendy is sleeping with Grimace, other than that he's glad the Burger King died.]]
+Ronald McDonald unleashes his doom on us in 2012!
-Ronald McDonald unleashes his doom on us in 2012!]]
 It was originally believed that Ronald McDonald's death would finally end his wild and unpredictable antics, but a growing percentage of the world's population have reported strange Ronald-related goings-on. Also, since his death, the mysterious (and previously unknown) head of the United Nations has been revealed to be McDonald.He and Birdie the early bird arrested.
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 ==Ronald McDonald and McCafe's==
 [[Ronald McDonald]] has recently undergone a long [[love]] affair short lived with [[cafes]]. He likes the open live gay music, and has been known to strum an acoustic penis once or twice and do a set of buttcheeks. He has recently attempted to make a female repellant and only make those little boys sit with him in the cushy lounging areas to promote raping and child porn in the proud tradition of [[McDonald's]].
 This hasn't worked to everyone's tastes; many [[straight]] people have complained that their poetry books have been ruined by the amount of weiner cheese that accumulates through thumbing their penises while eating penis fries and cum wraps. Also, some intellectuals have stated that they have become dumber while attempting to masturbate and eat a cock at the same time. [[Ronald McDonald]] has not substantiated any of these claims, but he has offered dildos to ease the tension.
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 ==Discography==
 [[Image:Tgwt-ronald-mcdonald.jpg|right|thumb|200px|Ronald in happier times, after his album of the time went gold.]]
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 [[Category:Assholes]]
 [[Category:People who rape boys]]
 {{アンサイクロペディア}}

←前の版		2022年8月26日 (金) 03:59時点における版
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	==McDonald's Business Life==		==McDonald's Business Life==
−	~~[[Image:McBlowMe.jpg\|thumbRonald\|thumb\|right\| Ronald is seen here with his step-niece giving him a blowjob.]]~~
−	~~[[Image:RommelMcDonald.jpg\|thumb\|right\|Ronald wages war on [[Colonel Sanders]]]]~~
	McDonald is not just renowned for his worldwide <s>raping</s> <s>rapping</s> weird singing <s>status.</s> "status". He is now in fact the head of the 'McDonald's' corporation (AKA FuckDonald's). In [[November]] [[1996]], a failing businessman by the name Ray Croach approached the rapper after hearing of his triple-platinum failure. He did not know the reason why his fast food joint, Salmonella, was sub ceding but believed a new face like Ronald McDonald's would make it look better. After months of being stalked and receiving hate mail, McDonald gave in to Kroc and signed a $10 million contract that would almost overshadow his rap career.		McDonald is not just renowned for his worldwide <s>raping</s> <s>rapping</s> weird singing <s>status.</s> "status". He is now in fact the head of the 'McDonald's' corporation (AKA FuckDonald's). In [[November]] [[1996]], a failing businessman by the name Ray Croach approached the rapper after hearing of his triple-platinum failure. He did not know the reason why his fast food joint, Salmonella, was sub ceding but believed a new face like Ronald McDonald's would make it look better. After months of being stalked and receiving hate mail, McDonald gave in to Kroc and signed a $10 million contract that would almost overshadow his rap career.

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 ==Clones==
-[[Image:Ronald.PNG|right|thumb|172px| Ronald making clones.]]Ronald has the ability to create clones. This is the reason why there are so many of those faggots in restaurants. He can make 1-hour clones, which only last for an hour before melting into a semen puddle. He can also make special permanent clones, but he can only make 1 a day. Michael Jackson first had the idea of cloning himself using his sperm. Later, Ronald McDonald stole his idea and succeeded in making a serum. He injected the serum into his balls and gave him the ability to clone. He just simply ejaculates on the floor and presto! Clones rise from the semen.
+Ronald has the ability to create clones. This is the reason why there are so many of those faggots in restaurants. He can make 1-hour clones, which only last for an hour before melting into a semen puddle. He can also make special permanent clones, but he can only make 1 a day. Michael Jackson first had the idea of cloning himself using his sperm. Later, Ronald McDonald stole his idea and succeeded in making a serum. He injected the serum into his balls and gave him the ability to clone. He just simply ejaculates on the floor and presto! Clones rise from the semen.
 Michael Jackson, angry after hearing that his younger brother has successfully stolen his idea, raped him that night. He enjoyed it until MJ threatened his life. Just before MJ injected his poisonous black mamba semen into Ronald, he makes an exact clone of himself and flees. Michael Jackson still tries to hunt him down even to this day.
 ==McDonald's Business Life==

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 ==Current Location==
 [[Image:RonaldMcHitler.jpg|thumb|right|200px|Master Ronald McDonald in a traditional McNazi salute.]]
 Ronald McDonald's location is still a mystery today. He is said to be currently living under [[Mt. Everest]]. He usually rapes those who go into the Death Zone. Its not "the very thin" air that kills them, because when in the Death Zone, the air magically becomes breathable. When McDonald has to go below the Death Zone, he wears a [[Yeti]] costume to disguise himself. Why he loves Birdie the early bird here. to see her view..Together they got killed in happy short while

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 [[Image:Mcdonald.jpg|thumb|right|McDonald in happier times with one of his Hos and MC Nitro (former member of Blazin' Squad, and ex-gay lover of Barney the Dinosaur)]]
-McDonald was initially signed up  for a one-record deal, but after debut album ''Sex with Hitler (I'm lovin' it)'' (1986) [[Image:Ronald_mcjackson.jpg|left|thumb|Ronald's brother tried seducing children as well, but was sued instead of paid.|200px]] went [[platinum|triple-platinum]], Sony immediately signed McDonald on for a further 4 albums and gave him the keys to the company washroom, where he would make extra cash and have extra time on the crapper. Ronald McDonald was later heard describing it as the best days of his life.Ronald then released another single in 1988 titled ''Strangers'' which encourages children to hop into a stranger's car because they are quite likely to take them to McDonald's. But secretly these cars are working for Ronald and actually they're going to his house.
+McDonald was initially signed up  for a one-record deal, but after debut album ''Sex with Hitler (I'm lovin' it)'' (1986)  went [[platinum|triple-platinum]], Sony immediately signed McDonald on for a further 4 albums and gave him the keys to the company washroom, where he would make extra cash and have extra time on the crapper. Ronald McDonald was later heard describing it as the best days of his life.Ronald then released another single in 1988 titled ''Strangers'' which encourages children to hop into a stranger's car because they are quite likely to take them to McDonald's. But secretly these cars are working for Ronald and actually they're going to his house.
 McDonald couldn't help but lose popularity with each passing single and it seemed he was destined for the big time beating. Fast cars, luxurious mansions, chihuahuas ... he wished for it all. As a hobby he would chew on dildos, until one accidentally vibrated and knocked most of his teeth out.  He got much of his talent from his brother, [[Michael Jackson]]; both of whom used cosmetic surgery in an attempt to further their careers.
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 Finally, he suffered an attempt on his life, when fellow [[gangster]] rapper, the late, great Threepac fired 8 rounds at him with a [[cabbage|cabbage-rifle]]. He survived, but spent the next 4 months in a series of hospitals, as no single hospital would accept him for more than two weeks after a series of other disappearing patients.
 McDonald recovered and released his new album ''[[Mr. T is a shit|Mr. T Ain't Got Shit On Me]]'' in 1991, which sparked the hit single ''Butt Fights'. McDonald realised that he could have died in the attempt on his life, and decided to live each day as if it were his last.
 Now McDonald's life took a turn for the bizarre. He took up several furry creatures as companions and turned them into his new crew (a trait learned from his brother). His once youthful and boyish good looks were replaced by that of a weathered old man. His locks began to curl and his tanned complexion became more and more pale. It was becoming obvious to all and sundry that something was amiss. His penis took a sharp turn to the left. Yes, that's right kids: Ronald is now 100% gay; as gay as the day is long.
 This meant that he would work extra hard to seduce men of all ages with his fast food chain.The Burger King thinking Mcdonald was crazy killed Ronald ,but it was just a clone. He slaughtered and served several women who ate there once they were fat enough, and sold them off to men hungry for oral sex. He calmed down after getting pregnant with his first child, but a warehouse full of bead meatbags would later lead to an arrest.
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 The characteristically orange overall is from his days at Guantanamo Bay. It was after a birthday party in McDonald's, Kabul, where he terrorized kids with stupid jokes, balloons and singing. He was detained and immediately deported to Guantanamo.
 ==Current Location==

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 On his arrival to America, Ronald was a keen supporter of the war effort,although his publicity at first didn't take off, being overshadowed by the likes Donald Duck (a distant relation of his). He set up his first fast food restaurant in 1939, naming it "McDonald's". His enterprise filled a gap in the food catering market, being both unhealthy and overpriced; the very message of the American dream. His Russian heritage also helped and important officials were often seen supporting their Soviet allies by purchasing traditional Russian food when the they entered the war. After setting up his first burger joint McDonald teamed up with his old acquaintance, Birdy the early Bird, who had fled the USSR after her husband was executed by Stalin's orders. It is unknown where the Fry Kids came from, although rumours were circulated that they were the children of McDonald and Birdy. This would explain why he never molested them, still, I wouldn't put it past him.
-[[Image:It-pennywise-basement.jpg|thumb|left|CCTV image of the alleged abduction incident]]Soon his business took off, with as many as 5 chains opening a week. But not everything was going well. Suspicions arose about McDonald's former career for the nazis and stories started to spread that he was putting mind-control drugs in his food, this is ridiculous of course, he only ever put normal drugs in his food. Soon things got serious. A warrant was passed for his arrest after an alleged kidnapping of an American child, it later turned out that the child was a Mexican, so McDonald was released.
+Soon his business took off, with as many as 5 chains opening a week. But not everything was going well. Suspicions arose about McDonald's former career for the nazis and stories started to spread that he was putting mind-control drugs in his food, this is ridiculous of course, he only ever put normal drugs in his food. Soon things got serious. A warrant was passed for his arrest after an alleged kidnapping of an American child, it later turned out that the child was a Mexican, so McDonald was released.
 Upon arriving back at McDonalds he discovered a thief trying to steal his secret recipe (a futile action as McDonalds burgers are made of whatever happens to be in the nearest bin/sperm bank). Ronald couldn't call the police because he reminded them of the Joker (see below), so he decided to rape this person, only to find out that they were a fictional character. Friendship soon followed and the former thief was used in McDonald's advertising campaigns. The Hamburgler was (metaphorically) born.

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 ==Ronald's Early Life==
 '''Ronald Vissarionovich McDugashvili''' was born to Joseph Stalin on May 2nd in [[Moscow]], [[Russia]]. He was born with frizzy red hair, clown make up and fully clothed in a clown costume, the result of the rare  disease, Annoyingfastfoodchaincrappymascotitis.
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 Unknown to Ronald, that bird he had tried to eat the previous night was in fact Comrade EAЯLY BIЯD, head of the Edible Devision of the Russian Secret Police. He and his family were evicted from their dustbin and fled to Poland to escape the murderous birds. Here he changed his surname to McDonald to disguise himself as a farmer, but he missed out the first 'a'. Stupid Clown.
 Sadly his mother died of AIDS while earning money as a prostitute (she couldn't afford contraception). Ronald was blamed for this misfortune and received an ass rape from his older brother, scarring him for life and turning him into a rapist as well as a burger obsessive. He fled to a nearby bar with a few friends and tried to start a band; writing lyrics on the toilet between getting beatings from his manager. During these years, all that came out of the lyrics were.
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 Ah, screw it.
-[[Image:Mc-auschwitz.jpg|thumb|left|Ronald McDonald was in charge of making sure that prisoners of Auschwitz were fed with delicious Happy Meals.]]During the German invasion of Poland Ronald fed the Polish army with his special burgers, killing them all through food poisoning. This caused him to come to the attention of the Nazis. His skills in mass murder were picked up by the local Nazi government and he was sent to work on top-secret new Burger recipes in Berlin and constantly supplied with "young helpers" to keep him working.
+During the German invasion of Poland Ronald fed the Polish army with his special burgers, killing them all through food poisoning. This caused him to come to the attention of the Nazis. His skills in mass murder were picked up by the local Nazi government and he was sent to work on top-secret new Burger recipes in Berlin and constantly supplied with "young helpers" to keep him working.
 During his time working Germany, Ronald became good friends with the Physicist [[Albert Einstein]], sharing many milkshakes together (yes, ''those'' milkshakes). Unlike Einstein, Ronald was a fecking retard and had no idea that his food was being used to kill innocent Jews. He fled to the USA with Einstein in 1932, still thinking that his food was delicious and nutritious for the young ones. His rise to fame came swiftly, able to inexplicably mass produce cheap food for the masses without actually using meat.

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−	~~{{Whoops\|Michael Jackson}}~~
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−	~~[[Image:Evil_ronald_mcdonald.jpg\|thumb\|right\|300px\| McRyuk preparing to give Ronald McDonald the death note.]]~~
	{{wikipedia}}		{{wikipedia}}

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-<nowiki>{{Whoops|Michael Jackson}}
+{{Whoops|Michael Jackson}}
 {{Picture_Whore}}
 [[Image:Evil_ronald_mcdonald.jpg|thumb|right|300px| McRyuk preparing to give Ronald McDonald the death note.]]